alhamdulila..
i'm back home now..
some will know where i've been,
and some know nuts about what has happen..
life is ok now..
going to atok's place later on..
today's his birthday..
he's 70 now..
alhamdulila....
and he is in good health..
love him....a
no training yesterday..
so slack all the way....
but i did go for 2hrs jog..
alone....
better to that way..
heh..
lately i've spent my time with new friend
and LiL also..
they are such a sweetie..
try their very best to make me smile..
well i do..
thanks....
thanks for reading..
ouh ya "nil"..
thanks for reading almost all my previous post..
AHAA!!
AnaK KeciL
kita semakin berjauhan..
love this song..
for you..
Aku tanpa cintamu
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih
AnaK KeciL
A BITCH WILL ALWAYS BE A BITCH!!
AN IDIOT WILL ALWAYS BE AN IDIOT!!
AN ASSHOLE WILL ALWAYS BE AN ASSHOLE!!
FUCK OFF BITCH!!
OUT OFF MY LIFE!!
YOUR USING ME ASSHOLE!!
DON'T THINK THAT I'M BLIND BY LOVE YA!!
THEY ASK ME TO IGNORE AND IN THE END THEY ARE THE ONE BEEN IGNORE BY ME!!
AND YOU BITCH BEEN LOVE BY ME LIKE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MINE!!
SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF BITCH!!!!
I HATE YOU!!
SERIOUSLY I HATE YOU!!
YOU'RE USING ME!!
IDIOT!!
AnaK KeciL
i've been missing a lot of fun in my life..
i hate myself for this..
commit myself with too much things..
some might not know n some might have known..
i commit myself as CC for NCDCC in NDP..
every Saturday i've to go for training..
i'm a 2nd year student nurse..
now i'm having my attachment for 4 weeks..
1 week have past and now 3 weeks to go..
exam is just week after that..
i'm also a tutor that commit myself to teach on Sunday..
N level is coming in 6 weeks,
i've really need to focus and make sure they know what they are doing..
fun time??
NO FUN time for me..
really hate myself for this..
should not take the position as CC at the 1st place..
mummy keep saying i've no time for her..
well, i guess it's true..
not been talking to her for sometime..
once reach home i'll shower than straight to room n online(but i'm sleeping infront of lappy)
i can't even find time for me to have a nice meal at LJS..
ahaha..
well that's life for me until middle of September..
that's a long time to go....
me and my baby goes well now..
no more quarreling..
just friend ya..
but the love given is too much..
my Sayang is sad..
if only i could always make Sayang smile,
i will..
if only i could, i would..
even it means to be hurt..
that's all that i've to say now..
thanks for reading..
AnaK KeciL
I HATE YOU!!
I HATE YOU!!
I HATE YOU!!
AND I'LL TRY TO HATE YOU MORE!!
SO I'LL NOT FEEL THE LOVE!!
I HATE YOU!!
YOU TRICK ON MY FEELINGS!!
GIVING ME FALSE HOPE!!
YOU ARE A ***** DO YOU KNOW THAT!!
DON'T COME TO ME ANYMORE!!
CAUSE I'VE HATED YOU!!
DON'T COME TO ME FOR MONEY ANYMORE!!
CAUSE I'M NOT YOUR BANKER!!
DON'T BE AND ASSHOLE AND THINK OF YOURSELF IDIOT!!
I HATE YOU!!
ANAK KECIL
aLoo..
2mr is the start of the *busy* me
and the *no-time* me..
start with 4weeks of attachment,
follow by 2weeks of exam,
follow by another 3weeks of attachment..
HACK!!
i HATE it!!
but still,
i've got to go tru it....
i'll have no time to be online,
i'll have to time to meet up my sweethearts n friends
and i'll have no time for myself....
these means
iLa will start nagging again..
i've no time to online, therefore will not be able to chat with my Sayang n new friend..
i can't even blog and let out my feelings....
AAAAHHHH!!!!
when will this end??!!
i want to end as early as possible so i can be out with new friend..
i don't know if i could survive for my exam..
after 4weeks of attachment,
my brain will full of things in the ward rather than things that i've studied in school..
who on earth make that schedule man!!
super idiotic la sey!!
haizzz....
i guess that's life for me..
Sayang..i wish we could be just like before..
Let me continue calling u Sayang..
Let me continue saying i love..
Please..never have doubt on me again..
AnaK KeciL
Know what i should do now??!!
i should study for exam later..
but nah....
i just can't..
haizzz....
mind keep thinking why..
why the distance getting longer..
as promised,
i will not get closer..
but hurting you is not what i want..
n seriously,
i love you....
love you too much Sayang..
how i wish you would read n understand this..
but hack..
i know you won't....
loving u is a mistake....
it's not only because of the hurts..
you know what i meant..
and now being apart from u,
i miss you..
miss you sooo much..
how i wish i could held you in my arms like always..
with you looking into my eyes
and always trying to make me smile..
event times after time i make you freak out,
you will still stand infront of me create joke to see me smile..
Sayang..
we are too busy with our own life i guess..
i've never want you,
cause i've always need you..
i've never like you,
cause i've always love you..
i've never need you to love me back like how i love you,
but I would hate for you to find somebody new
who you really love,
cause it would mean losing you..
my fear in life is to lose you and lead life w/o you..
i sayang u..
n now....
orang rindu dia sangat-sangat....
AnaK KeciL
i just can't find the reason why i love you so much..
even hurts that i've always gain from you..
i don't know how special you're to me..
i just can't stop thinking of you..
what more stop loving you..
eventhough i know you only find me when you need help,
i just don't care..
i still love you..
talk about the one that you love,
hurt me too..
but i just don't care..
as long as smiles created on ur face,
i'm happy too even it hurts..
there's distance between us now..
i want it to remain like this..
so i will have the chance to slowly walk off from your life totally..
you can always say we are friends..
yes we are..
but when you have the right person to take care of you,
you don't need me anymore..
i just want you to be happy....
and you are happy with the one you love,
i shell walk off..
because you're happy enough without me..
you've always said that you try to understand me but you never can..
it's because you never tried at the first....
if u understand every single word i said to you,
you will understand my deepest feeling towards you..
i've been always saying
"org sayang dia"
"org rindu dia"
"love u Sayang"
"miss u to the max Sayang"
and i dare myself to say them in words when we're on phone..
you never want to understand them..
and there's no reply to those words....
evrytime we decide to meet up..
i can't be too happy..
because i know there's something bad gonna happen..
either before or after the meet up..
so i guess HE have HIS reason why HE stop us from meeting most of the time we plan to..
even it hurts,
i can only pray n hope for the next palnning..
too much hope and most of it turn to hurts..
i'll just let it be and just see how our relationship going to be..
i can't do much now..
both have shown our EGO part..
so i guess i'll just let flow leads the way......
"I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love, cause it would mean losing you"
AnaK KeciL