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About Me



I'm AnaK KeciL
I'm 19

black_red65@hotmail.com

This is about AnaK KeciL's Life..

AnaK KeciL's Life full of unanswered Questions..

AnaK KeciL still waitinG for the Questions to be Answered..

Poems N Puisi will be posted to let all AnaK KeciL's Feeling(s) out..

I LOVE YOU, SAYANG..


My Links:-

-My Friendster-

-HKSS-
Aishah. Isfarina. Kenny.
Mei Ying. Muhaimin. Mustainah.
Sabahrina. Suhaimi. Shaheda.
Taufiq. Wendy. Yasrina.
Yongquan. Zulhilmi. Zyma.

-NCDCC-
Fudin. Huda. Natasha.
Shakila. Sharina. Shuhailah.
Umairah. Ummairah.

-NYP-
Amanda. Fatin. Fathul Hakim.
Jasline.


Memories:-

  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • September 2009


    • Credits:-

    AnaK KeciL.

    Wednesday, February 27, 2008

    hi all..
    *hoping for the best now..

    ever once i said to my friends that i don't care
    what will happen to my life and i don't care
    about every steps i took in my life..

    but for now,
    for this moment,
    i'm always hope for the best..
    even for every little steps that i'm going to take..
    i never want to make another mistake now..

    i am who i am..
    changes is what people want to see in me..
    taking that steps make people hate me more..
    they ask me to be who i am..
    but when i be who i am,
    -ve feedback starts to come..

    i'm fine with that..
    but for now,
    i really really hope for the best..


    • my elder sister..
      hope that she will recover soon..
      so mum don't have to worry much
      and sis don't have to suffer much..
      how i wish i could share her pain with me..
    • my result..
      hope that my result will be out good..
      even if it's not where i aim it to be,
      i am ready..
      too many things happen during my exam period..
    • SHS student conference..
      hope everything will go well..
      even there will be last mintue changes,
      i hope we can deal it well..
    • attachment..
      hope things will go well for attachment..
      even i don't know what going to happen for the 1st week,
      i will try my best no matter what happen..
    and with just hoping,
    i gain nothing..
    i will pray hard.."YA ALLAH, hanya padaMU aku bermohon"
    and i will do my best..


    maybe some can see the rudeness in me..
    i don't think that i should apologies..
    i have my reason of doing that..
    and u don't need to know the reason..

    and now,
    "when i dream at night" by Marc Anthony
    become something major in my life..
    i love that song..
    write in my blog about this song before..
    listen to it..
    and u still won't understand unless u know what i'm facing..

    to you: lets stop it here..i don't want to give any hope to you nor let myself been drag to the past..i'll minimise the time we spent together..i'm sorry..u will always be someone that never stop making me smile..i will never let you go until u found the right one....that is my promise....

    that is all babes and dudes..
    thanks for your time..

    sayang..i miss you, sayang..and i sayang you..always..


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 11:08:00 PM

    Tuesday, February 26, 2008

    i'm sorry!!
    today's post been deleted..
    i don't want to hurt my love..
    and i'm sorry if i have change..
    people do change, Sayang..
    like you change me..
    that prove people change..
    sensitivity to the surrounding make people change..



    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 10:19:00 PM

    Monday, February 25, 2008

    aLooooo..
    *it ia hard to make people to understand you..

    sometimes it is hard to let out your
    feelings to people who are close to you..
    seriously its hard for me..
    let me reason it out..

    • i'm scared that they misunderstand me..
    • i'm scared they might leave me..
    • i'm scared they will laugh at me..
    it is not only feelings i'm talking about, here..
    but the fact is the problems that i'm facing..
    once i shoot out the problems i'm having,
    it means my past will be reveal..

    so..
    which is the best??
    keep quite or let out everything??..
    for me,
    BOTH!!

    i don't dare to tell people that i'm close with
    my feelings,
    my problems
    and also what i'm thinking about..
    i'm just to scared..
    adn seriously to scared..
    but i let out all my thoughts and feelings
    to people whom i'm not close with..

    and to make it clear here,
    they understand me..
    they never get off my side..
    they share theirs with me..

    i've said once..
    i prefer talking to strangers than someone close with me..
    why??
    because they will never judge..
    if they judge,
    they are strangers anyway....

    or even talk to a friend..
    who is not close enough with me..
    that i think and feel that they won't juge me..
    and that is what i'm doing right now..
    really hope this friend for mine won't judge me..
    THANKS CAUSE YOU WANNA HEAR MY PROBLEMS!!

    So..
    now is school holiday..
    holiday for me??
    a big NO for u guys..
    hahaha..
    why??

    • tones of proposal need to be done..
    • going back to school for meetings and up coming events..
    • meeting up some old pal..
    • and out almost every night to be YOU!!
    that is what i'm going to do during the holidays..
    ouh ya..
    forgot 1 major thing..
    • ATTACHMENT!!
    MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    screw up my own life....
    but i'm happy with things that i'm gonna do..
    the most is the 4th point....
    wakakaka....
    gonna smile and smile and smile..

    anyway..
    qoute this words from Friendster Horoscopes
    "Too many changes too quickly could bring you right back to where you started."
    for my horoscope(25.02.2008)..
    agree to it..

    orite2..
    that all for now..
    take care all..
    thanks for reading....


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 10:37:00 AM

    Saturday, February 23, 2008

    hi everyone!!
    *leading my life w/o any aim now..

    wish to live my like like before..
    stay happy w/o any hurts or pain..
    but can i ever achive it??
    do get me wrong..

    living like before doesn't mean i'm
    going back to my past
    and be what i am in the past..
    there's things that i like about my
    past there's things that i wish i did
    not ever happen in my life..

    and for now,
    i want the happiness that i
    ever had in my past..
    wish it is hard to gain for now..
    i've to try hard..
    very very hard for me to
    have that happinest back..
    but how do i get it??..

    i do have someone that
    always and never fail
    creating smiles on me..
    but loving that person is
    the last thing i wanna do
    in my life for now..
    its the thing that dragging me
    back to where i am in the past..
    i mean the past that i
    wish it never hpn..

    but the happiness that one
    bring to me is the best thing
    ever for now..
    with her,
    i can forget someone that i
    deeply love and now i've to let go..
    one heal the pain in me..
    leading me to a happier life now..
    what should i do now??..

    finding new friends now..
    ready to get hurt again..
    i'm reaady for everything now..
    but i'm not ready if one leave me..
    i don't know how to lead my life
    w/o one by me now...

    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
    i need an answer..

    to you: i'm starting to love you..but i will never continue this feeling..


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 11:13:00 PM

    Wednesday, February 20, 2008

    hi too all..
    2mr is my last paper..
    last paper yet to study..
    will be early to sch 2mr..
    with asyiqin's help,
    gonna do last min revision..

    friday will be class BBQ..
    but i don't think i can come..
    sis is totally sick and in hosp now..
    YA ALLAH..Hanya padaMu aku bermohon....
    in the hosp the whole day today..
    yes i am tired..
    but sis need my time more than i need it for myself..
    kak!! I MISS YOU!!

    will stop here..
    the post below will be For You..
    You know who u are..

    For You:

    this is the only way i can think of to tell you what's in my mind..i really really hope you read this post..

    try to understand this for now..not that i'm trying to avoid you after what had happen..been busy with studies and also my elder sis..i will never ever avoid someone that's meaningful in my life even if it hurts..you are someone in my life right now..you make me smile with every of your morning wake up call,Good Morning msgs and also Good Night msgs..yes..it's true that i ever want you to get out off my life..but not now pls..that is the most sickful decision i ever made..and yes i miss u..really really miss you..its been almost a week w/o you by my side after 3weeks by your side almost everyday..and now that i really need you,i can only call you and hear your voice.. i need your help for now..can you just forget that night??..i'm begging you pls..i know it is hard..but pls try and stop talking about it..and not that i used you..i do it because of my love..yes..i start to love you..and yes i did it because of love..but i can't continue that feeling..i have promise myself to stop all these..and i've made the decision on that night..but you still continue it on..i just need someone to make me smile and happy now..and you are always there by me creating smiles on me..not that i want to use you..it's just you're now at the top of my mind..and stop asking me to replace you with my Sayang..that's totally impossible..with the words that i ask Sayang to hold,that's how i lead my life now..don't ever involve my Sayang in our friendship or what ever u call it..i'm begging u pls..for now..don't go....


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 8:48:00 PM

    Friday, February 15, 2008

    aLoo..
    *thinking of what gonna happen in my LIFE....

    People call me ego..
    Hmmm..
    Why??
    I don't really know..
    But let me list out who actually i am..


    • i'm someone who will always try to hold on to my words..(i say i do)
    • i'm someone who will do what i think and feel is right..
    • i'm someone who will always take dares from people as long as it never hurt other people..
    • i'm someone who like to keep things inside me..
    • i'm someone whoes tears is dried..
    • i'm someone who respect others..
    • i'm someone who will do anything for others even it risk my life..
    • i'm someone who willing to make people happy even i'm hurt..
    • i'm someone who get angry easily..
    • i'm someone who do stupid things..
    • i'm someone who don't know how to lead life and don't even know what life's about..
    • i'm someone who will never hate people because nobody is perfect..

    that is what i think i am..
    maybe because of things that i do or what i am make people say that i'm ego..
    hmmm..
    yes i am..
    so do you..
    i don't show my ego-ness if u respect what i am or what i want..

    i've been doll-ing around..
    people think that i'm kind and they start to step on my head..
    asking me to do this and that..
    liking me because of what i had and not who i am..
    i may be stupid at times and just say "YES"..
    but i'm someone who will never repeat the same mistake again..
    try me people....

    that's all for now..
    exam is later..
    i'm here updating my blog..
    muahahaha....
    will end up with malay poetry..

    For the one that I used to love deeply..

    Kini kau sudah berpunya Sayang..
    Kau selalu riang..
    Tersenyum walau tanpa sebab..
    Itulah dirimu kini..

    Aku terpaksa pergi jauh dari dirimu..
    Itu peganggan hidupku..
    Jika kau perlukan diriku,
    aku akan sentiasa disisimu..

    Biarlah kini kita berjauhan..
    Supaya aku tidak dilukai lebih dalam..
    Walau berat mulut ini ingin berkata "Selamat Tinggal",
    biarlah setiap tapak ku katakan..

    Kini aku sendiri..
    Kembali sendiri..
    Seperti hari yang sudah-sudah..
    Tiada siapa yang aku menyayangi kini..

    Walau ianya pahit untuk di lelan,
    aku akan tetap teruskan..
    Walau luka ini terus berdarah,
    aku akan biarkan..

    Biarlah yang terjadi aku jadikan peduman..
    Biarlah keindah yang kita lalui aku buat kenangan..
    Biarlah aku sebergini buat sekarang..
    Biarlah aku sendiri tanpa teman..


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 12:06:00 AM

    Thursday, February 14, 2008

    hola to aLL..
    *bad day today??should say yes and no..

    a dear fwen of mine been distrub..
    what i do??
    NOTHING!!!!!!
    what her bf do??????
    planning!!!!
    of what????
    SHITS??!!
    he don't even dare to give that gal a msg!!!!
    AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    i just won't wash my hand orite....

    orite..
    back home..
    clean myself up..
    getting ready for my DATE!!
    with my LiL..
    bought her a rose..
    Muahahahaha..
    To LiL--> Thanks for the Nasi Goreng and Sausage.. You know what i want to eat yea??..hahaha.. Sorry can't finish them cause ur parents coming back soon and i've to setttle things between us..

    after eating with LiL..
    serious conversation with her..
    sitting on her comfort sofa....
    And....................
    Muahahahaha....
    To LiL--> Let it be the last orite??..i'm begging you don't hate me..i need you to make me smile..

    back home..
    and hmmmm..
    my sweater....
    will take it next time..

    i guess i made the best decision that i ever made..
    turning back is no more an option..
    nor replacing people in my life..
    let them be where they want to be in my life..
    don't need to stress myself up just because of this..

    even heard of this song
    "When i dream at Night" by Marc Anthony??
    i'm just gonna love that song now..
    that song help me slove my prob and help me making the best decision..
    orite2..till then..
    Ciaozzzzzzzz..


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 12:16:00 AM

    Monday, February 11, 2008

    Hi to all..
    *i'm confuse now!!!!

    What should i do now!!!!

    Sori for the MALAY post!!

    apa yang akan aku lakukan sekarang..haruskah aku toleh ke belakang??atau jalani hidup aku sebegini sahaja??..aku tak ingin melakukan dosa2 yang aku lakukan dahulu..tetapi aku senang..hatiku tiada yang lukai..malah aku disayangi..aku dapat merasakannya..apa yang aku ingini bukan sahaja mimpi..tetapi dijadikan kenyataan..tapi kini apa yang aku inginkan semuanya mimpi..memang benar aku disayangi..tetapi aku tidak dapat merasakan nya..walau sedikit..malah aku disakiti....tersiatnya hati tiada yang tahu..

    aku mengenali seseorang..manjanya ya amat....aku dapat merasai kasih sayang yang diberikan nya padaku..dia selalu ukirkan senyuman pada wajahku..tetapi haruskah aku menyayanginya juga??..bagaimana dengan insan yang selama ini yang aku sayang??..harus kan aku gantikan dia dengan insan yang aku sayangi itu??..aku keliru..menyayangi dia sama seperti aku ke alam dahulu..kini tiada siapa yang dapat bimbing aku....aku jalani ini sendiri..aku harus buat pilihan..aku tidak ingin dia teus mengharap..kerana aku tahu bagaimana perasan itu..tetapi aku juga tidak ingin terus mengharap dengan insan yang selama ini aku sayang....haruskan aku toleh kebelakang??..atau jalani hidup seperti sekarang ini??....

    AKU BOSAN DENGAN HIDUP KU INI..
    TERLALU BANYAK SANGAT SOALAN YANG TIADA JAWPAN!!


    *hopefully both of them never read my bolg


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 10:11:00 PM

    Sunday, February 10, 2008

    High Low to aLL....
    hMmm..
    *alhamdulilah..people around me never fail to make me smile especially my LiL..

    What happen yesterday??
    Hmmmm..
    1st thing woke up,
    Took my shower..
    Read hp msgs..

    1st from Sayang..
    Hi Sayang..Thanks for reading my blog..and let me tell u something..i won't run away alright..but let me walk off slowly..i'm not going to msg u that often..MSN chat hmmm..will chat with u when i miss u a lot alright..anyway..i will always miss u la..and..i Sayang u..

    2nd from LiL..
    LiL..there u go again....i can never try LiL..i only need someone to be with me for now..but i'm not going to fall for u..had a really good and happy time with you for the past 3 days..smiles created..thanks..myb i'll just say that i like u as a friend..how about that??..

    3rd from new friend..
    Hah..new friend don't have MSN/blog/internet..so ya..new friend make me laugh almost all night since knew her..her msgs..hah..ok..cool lady....

    Start studying..study study study..
    Phone rang..
    ={Sayang}=1 means Sayang home number..
    Was about to pick up, call off..
    Then msg Sayang ask why call..
    Sayang just want to know how i am..
    To Sayang-->i'm fine ya..thanks a lot..

    Then i went to uncle house..
    About 6.30pm off from his house..
    Then went for jog..
    Then..........
    Meet gang for soccer..
    Hmmm..
    Someone just love to hug me when i sweating!!
    To LiL-->Stop before i repeat what i did the last time round..

    Then back home..
    Then MSN with my bestie..
    Muahahahaha..
    Serious talk with her..
    K people whom i know..
    If i'm gone,
    U guys wanna know what i write about u guys,
    Find her..
    Her name is MUSTAINAH!!
    After have serious conversation with her,
    i try out my webcam after a long time not using it..
    n YESSS!!
    i'm a able to....
    Talk and talk and talk..
    Then have to stop and buy myself dinner....
    Or should i say supper..
    Muahahaha..

    What about today..
    Hmmm..
    Enrollment of class 3..
    The journey starts today!!
    After that go back home..
    Hmmm..
    In my room doing push ups..
    Guess what??!!??!!
    My green watch came out from my wrist by itself..
    It's broken......
    Sad sad sad..
    No worries....
    Fixed liao....
    Muahahahaha..
    Alhamdulilah

    Will meet LiL if she's free later on..
    OK..Done for today post..
    Bubye....


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 7:25:00 PM

    Thursday, February 7, 2008

    aLoo to all..
    *not cured, but addtion hurt....


    Orite..
    What happen yesterday??....
    Hmmmm..
    Yup..
    Met my Dear..
    Dear still cute as before but i think she getting cuter..
    Muahahahaaaa....
    Even it's only for 20 mins that u're beside me,
    it meant a lot to me dear..
    Hope we can meet up and spent the whole day like before orite Dear??..
    Hah!!Dear online!!Muahahahaha!!
    To Dear--> i'm sori that i called u "Mangkuk Tengkat"..n tanx for those marks..even they hurts it makes me smile when ever i feel them..heeeeeee....

    After send Dear home,
    Meet up with LiL Cheeky GaL....
    Took sweater from LiL..
    and yes u're Cheecky, LiL GaL....
    But those smiles make me think of my past..
    wiLL talk about LiL GaL later on..

    THOSE ARE THE HAPPY PART OF YESTERDAY....
    AND THIS ISN'T......

    Sayang told me Sayang got Darling now....
    ask u guys, how it feel when u heard that from someone that u really love??..
    it's not u..it's some1 else..ans me orite....
    i jus ans "ouh...." "den"
    i stop there..
    i wanted to continue..
    but its jus hurt enough..
    "den i've to start running"
    that's wat i wanna say....
    i know Sayang never read my blog unless i ask Sayang to..
    let me let out all my feelings here orite..
    i Love this Sayang of mine..
    away from Sayang is not easy and never it will be..
    i'll do anything and everthing for Sayang..
    what should i do now??..
    i'm the kind of person who will run away if some1 that i know is in a relationship..
    and now that Sayang is in a relationship,
    i've to just keep away for Sayang....
    i can never do that..
    it hurts a lot....
    but at the same time i'm happy Sayang is happy..
    but it still hurts....
    Loving Sayang is a big mistake..
    but i keep continue doing that mistake..
    i know Sayang i never for me..
    but i'm always hoping Sayang will be mine even for a day....
    it's still impossibe..
    Sayang will never understand why is this happening even i've change..
    and yes..
    only Sayang believe that i've change..
    and yes i've change..
    but i'm still hoping..
    i will start running..
    as far as possible..
    i've done one thing today..
    even it's hard and hurt alot,
    that the best for me....

    as for today,
    meet up with LiL GaL..
    tanx alot LiL for those smiles....
    u never stop smiling and never stop creating smiles on me..
    i'm happy that i'm with u today LiL..
    and rmbr..only me call u LiL..
    no 2nd person can call u that orite??..
    but pls don't mistaken what happen today orite..
    u're with some1 i know now..
    be happy with that person....
    you make me forget about Sayang today..
    but when u're off by my side,
    Sayang back on my mind....

    Anyway....it's impossible......


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 8:11:00 PM

    Monday, February 4, 2008

    aLoooo..
    tanx for reading my blog....
    guess what....
    ??????????????
    i really miss these two people..
    who??..
    my Sayang n my Dear....
    yup..both diff people..
    both busy....
    and i'm busy with studies too....
    but for now,
    what i can do is just hold on....
    wanna know who is my Sayang
    and who is my Dear??....
    it's good enough that they know it's them..
    REALLY REALLY WANNA KNOW??....
    know me well enough u will know who they are....
    wakakakaaaaa..
    will only meet my Sayang after exam....
    do i've to wait that long Sayang??..
    insyaAllah will meet Dear this wed..
    i really hope i will Dear..last saw u 6th oct 2006 ok....
    not even ur voice i heard after that day..only msg n msn..
    hope that day will hpn..

    Exam coming!!
    and what i'm doing now??..
    chat, blog, chat, blog....
    muahahahaaaaa....
    hey..burning midnight oil ok!!
    heeee....
    really pray hard i'll do well for this sem....
    i really hope i can..
    ALLAH only to u i pray....Amin..
    peace!!

    btw..
    this is my blog ya..
    n yes i blog about my feelings
    and write what eva hpn to me..
    i never write about something that never link to me..
    n i've my own right to write about anyone who link to me..
    if u don't like it,
    y not stop reading my blog..
    that's the best way right LiL gaL??!!

    orite!!
    now that i Miss my "Dr.",
    i hope my "Dr." can cure me....
    right Sayang??..
    will u??....
    *being apart with u is never easy for me Sayang..
    wahahaaaaa....

    ok..
    till den..
    tanx for reading....


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 11:28:00 PM

    Friday, February 1, 2008

    How I wish you are infront of me right now..
    So that I can hold you tight..
    Feel your lips with mine..
    Touch the smooth skin of yours..

    How I wish you could be mine..
    Having you by my side every second..
    But it is impossible for now..
    You will never want to understand..

    Even it is a mistake to love you,
    I will still love you until the end..
    You are too close to my heart..
    Never will I let you go..

    Now that I miss you so much..
    Hope that I can meet you soon..
    So that i can stare at you
    and let out all my misses towards you..


    To my Sayang:
    I Miss You
    2mr is your day....
    stay happy always....
    and i will love you like before....
    thanks cause wanna be my Sayang....
    pls smile always Sayang....
    I Love You....


    AnaK KeciL


    That is AnaK KeciL's Life 8:47:00 PM



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